Jan
31

Mothering the Mother

Author // Lucy Atkinson
Posted in // Blog

The concept of mothering the mother is one that has been growing within me ever since I became a mother for the first time.

Looking back I was so naive, yet so fierce and determined to ‘get it right’. I didn’t have many role models for being a mother. My friends had either already had kids and I’d kind of lost touch with them, or they had moved far way, or they hadn’t quite got round to having children yet either.

Growing up, I had no contact at all with babies or younger children. My own mother didn’t really enjoy her experience of mothering; she felt lonely, isolated, overwhelmed. I only realised all of this many years later, as she found it so hard to support me on my journey of mothering.

The expectations I put on myself were huge. I absorbed all of the conflicting advice about what I should be doing and how I should be doing it; what my baby should be doing; and overwhelmed myself trying to do it all perfectly, and largely on my own.

Having my husband’s support – he seemed to learn a lot about supporting me from us doing the hypnobirthing course together – was incredibly helpful. Yet he was mostly floundering with the practicalities and emotional change of becoming parents as much as I was.

Ten years and two babies (plus one miscarriage) later, I have learned so much. I have dedicated a huge part of that time to developing myself – as a person, and as a mother – and supporting other women and their partners.

Working with couples through my Wise Hippo course, I realise that so much effort and focus goes into preparing for the birth. This effort pays off in so many ways, allowing parents to feel in control, and able to make decisions that are right for them as they birth their baby.

I get such regular feedback about the next stage though; how couples sometimes feel unprepared and often unsupported as they transition into being parents. Learning how to look after and respond to their baby’s needs, while often forgetting to respond to their own needs first. Feeling lost and overwhelmed as they try to work it all out, all while healing from the enormous physical and emotional task of birthing a baby. And of course, as they are bombarded with all those messages and advice about what they should be doing and how they should be doing it.

No wonder couples often feel overwhelmed, and like they are struggling to cope.

I felt called to put some support and preparation into place, to focus on how to make that transition with the support you need, from each other and from the people around you; to start out that journey into parenthood with some tools to help you feel confident and more prepared.

The Mothering the Mother workshop is designed to do just that. I have created it with love and compassion, to support your journey into being born as parents when you give birth to your baby.

Wishing you joy and love as you prepare for this wonderful journey!

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